DROP 05 — CASE FILE

FLIGHT HAT

I will hijack this flight.

I WILL HIJACK THIS FLIGHT — black embroidered dad cap

▸ FILE NOTES

The hat does not hijack anything. The hat is the announcement that the hat is hijacking something. The announcement is the offense. The offense is sufficient.

You will not wear this hat in an airport. You will wear it at the airport bar, in the parking lot, in the rideshare to the terminal. You will take it off before security and put it back on at the gate. The TSA agent will not stop you. The TSA agent has a quota and the quota does not include wordplay.

Three years ago a man in Portland wore a similar hat to a Southwest counter. He was photographed by a witness who posted the photo without context. The post received 4.2 million impressions. The man was not arrested. The man was not added to any list that the man knows about.

You will not be the man. You will be at home, online, wearing the hat in your kitchen at 3am, photographing yourself for the same impressions.

The shirts in this file say you are perfect. The hat says you are a threat. Both diagnoses are correct.

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